The difference between fiction and reality?|
Fiction has to make sense. Tom Clancy
quoted in an employee newsletter, May 3, 2006
If this doesn't make you laugh, you are truly humor impaired!
The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points on his body. The officer got to choose what those two points would be.
The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.
The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with $96,000.
The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old Chief who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, "From the tip of my weenie to my testicles."
It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks the previous two Officers had received. But the old Chief insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the measurement was taken by a Medical Officer.
The Medical Officer arrived and instructed the Chief to "drop 'em," which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief's weenie and began to work back. "Dear Lord!", he suddenly exclaimed, "Where are your testicles?"
The old Chief calmly replied, "Vietnam."
President Trump Announces Sale of California to Mexico
WASHINGTON (AP) - At 12:15pm today President Trump disclosed that he has reached an agreement with Enrique Peña Nieto, President of Mexico, which provides for the sale of substantially all of the State of California to the country of Mexico. President Trump noted that this deal, which he claims "is his largest real estate deal ever" is a win-win for everyone involved. One of the benefits he says he will highlight during a prime time address from the oval office later this evening, will include using the proceeds received by the US from Mexico to:
He also noted that Federal money saved from the reduction of California citizens on US social programs will allow those social programs to be cash positive in less than 3 years. Mexican President Peña Nieto announced that he has already introduced a bill to the Mexican Congress asking to change his country's name to MexiCal.
- pay for the Wall (fulfilling yet another campaign promise), a wall which will now include a substantial portion of the eastern border of California (there may be a carve out for Lake Tahoe),
- fund all the infrastructure spending in the remaining 49 states and
- pay to relocate the 67 Republicans that currently reside in California.
Other benefits President Trump intends to discuss during this evening's prime time address include:
Read the rest here!
Lunch with the Pope
Before his inauguration, President-elect Trump invited the Pope for lunch on his mega yacht.
The Pope accepted and during lunch, a puff of wind blew the Pontiff's hat off, right into the water. It floated off about 50 feet, then the wind died down and it just floated in place.
The crew and the secret service were scrambling to launch a boat to go get it, when Trump waved them off, saying, "Never mind, boys, I'll get it."
The Donald climbed over the side of the yacht, walked on the water to the hat, picked it up, walked back on the water, climbed into the yacht, and handed the Pope his hat.
The crew was speechless. The security team and the Pope's entourage were speechless. No one knew what to say, not even the Pope.
But that afternoon, NBC, CBS, ABC, MSNBC, and CNN reported:
TRUMP CAN'T SWIM!
(from the Infidel Bloggers Alliance where it was marked as "Received via email")
A friend of mine wrote
I read the Wall Street Journal and the Economist, I also look at the pictures in the Albuquerque Journal. It’s amazing how quickly our ex-president’s face has disappeared. Reminds me of a fellow called “Carter”.That seems to fit in with these images.
Perhaps we can start capitalizing “President” again.
... and now there are four.
A New Day for America
Today is a new day for America a new American holiday.
Barack Hussein Obama is not the first Presidential mistake America has made, and probably will not be the last. Still, it has been unnerving to have our nation's worst mistake in modern times following so soon after its last major mistake.
Now a new day has dawned and the nation has a right to be very hopeful.
The First President Trump Joke
A large earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter scale hit the Middle East. Two million Muslims died and over a million were injured. Iraq, Iran and Syria were totally ruined and the governments asked for help to rebuild.
The rest of the world was in shock. But they lined up to help.
God Bless President Trump!
- Great Britain sent troops to help keep the peace.
- Saudi Arabia sent oil and monetary assistance.
- Latin American countries sent clothing.
- New Zealand and Australia sent sheep, cattle and food crops.
- The Asian countries sent labor to assist in rebuilding the infrastructure.
- Canada sent medical teams and supplies.
- The new American President, Donald Trump, not to be outdone, sent two million replacement Muslims.
Trump Already Destroying Arizona Economy
Donald Trump isn't even President yet, but he's already having an impact (multiple impacts, according to a number of news stories) on the United States. Here's an example.
TRUMP could destroy the local Arizona economies. Illegal immigrants are boycotting Arizona by the thousands and moving elsewhere showing their outrage with Donald Trump's proposed law of sending illegal immigrants back to their native countries.
Kinda brings a tear to your eye, doesn't it?
In the small town of Guadalupe, AZ, south of Phoenix, Manuel Renaldo is one of those who are vowing to punish Arizona by leaving.
As he loaded his stolen car with his taxpayer-furnished belongings and family of ten, Renaldo told this reporter through an interpreter: It's a matter of principle; I refuse to be supported by a state that treats me like a criminal!
The effects of the exodus are already being felt by some Arizona retailers, who are reporting dwindling thefts & sales of beer, tequila, spray paint, and ammunition.
Also hit hard are the state hospitals, which have reported a dramatic decline in births and emergency room visits of non-revenue patients!.
State welfare agencies are preparing to lay off staffs that distribute food stamps and unemployment benefits. Tattoo parlors are in an absolute state of panic!
Renaldo told a reporter, through an interpreter, that he and his family are moving to Canada, with a new Liberal government under Justin Trudeau and new higher taxes and hardworking people who will better support him and his family with dignity!
Vice President Biden's "Humble" Lifestyle
Take the time to read this, you will not believe it!
Every Friday the vice president takes a helicopter designated as Marine Two from the vice president’s residence in northwest Washington to Joint Base Andrews in Maryland.
He then hops on Air Force Two to fly back to his home in Delaware. At the end of the weekend, he returns on Air Force Two, usually a Boeing C-32.
On Saturdays in warm weather, Biden regularly returns to Andrews on the airplane to play golf at the base with President Obama. After the game, he flies back to Delaware. On Sunday evening, he returns on the plane to Washington, all at taxpayer expense.
The Boeing C-32 is a specially configured Boeing 757-200 commercial jet. The cost of flying the plane is $22,000 an hour, so each half-hour trip to or from Delaware costs about $10,000. Each golf game costs taxpayers $20,000. At that rate, the annual cost to taxpayers of Biden’s weekend trips is well over $1 million. That does not include so-called deadhead flights when the plane often flies back to Washington empty and then returns empty to pick up Biden.
In addition, the Secret Service rents more than 20 condominiums in the Wilmington area for agents who must accompany Biden when he returns to his home state. Rather than try to find hotel space, the Secret Service decided to rent the condos in part because, even when he knows his schedule in advance, Biden rarely tells agents until the last minute when he will be returning to Wilmington beyond his weekend trips. As a result, agents cannot plan their own lives.
A Secret Service agent says that since Air Force Two parks at Andrews, Obama is obviously aware that Biden is running up a huge government tab for each game of golf they play.
Biden's press office had no comment. Asked if President Obama thinks these costs are appropriate and why he has not questioned Biden’s flying to play golf with him at a cost of $20,000 per game, the president's press office had no comment.
Biden's commutes have cost taxpayers at least $4 million so far. After my story ran on Newsmax, a major media outlet obtained Pentagon records confirming the trips and costs. But so far, that outlet has not run the story. The rest of the media have ignored it.
In addition to his salary as vice president of $230,700, Biden has free use of the vice president's residence at the Naval Observatory. The vice president’s residence is a handsome 9,150-square-foot, three-story mansion overlooking Massachusetts Avenue NW in Washington. Complete with pool, pool house, and indoor gym, the white brick house was built in 1893 as the home of the superintendent of the U.S. Naval Observatory. Congress turned it into the official residence of the vice president in 1974 and gave it the address One Observatory Circle.
During the day, at least five Navy stewards attend to every personal need of the second family, including cleaning, cooking, shopping for food, and doing the laundry.
Biden has portrayed himself as a regular Joe, a product of a working-class family who takes on millionaires and Republicans who are said to be out of touch with middle-class Americans.
Last June, Obama appointed Biden to root out wasteful government spending..........
Written by Ronald Kessler, chief Washington correspondent of Newsmax.com and received by e-mail
Reflections on the Election
Before Election Day, everything seemed so clear. Hillary Clinton would be elected president and Donald Trump would be exiled to the wastelands and never heard from again. But then Election Day came, and everyone's expectations were turned upside down.
That caused Shock. Consternation. Horror. The Hillary partisans in the blue cities reacted badly. And that brought about some immediate aftereffects.
Another quick side effect was in the financial markets, where the market futures took an immediate dive. The market gurus said the financial markets would be devastated and would never recover. But we know how that turned out.
An expected result of Trump's unexpected victory was that a lot of liberal celebrities would be leaving the country, many saying they would go to Canada. That would produce the Great Hollywood Liberal Airlift From LA.
Ah, more's the pity. It appears most of those who swore they would leave the country if Trump won are now punking out. You just can't trust those Leftists.
There was one more thing that apparently passed unnoticed on election night. A glass ceiling was shattered just not the one the Left expected. It was the one shattered by Kellyanne Conway.
Meanwhile, on the other side.
Something had happened through the middle part of the Election Day evening. Something completely unexpected. Something that simply couldn't happen. Donald Trump started pulling into the lead, both in the Electoral College vote and in the popular vote. (California later changed the popular vote due to its huge margin for Hillary.) Perhaps that is why Hillary had a different reaction at just about that time.
The New York Times was monitoring the changes, and captured them in this real-time probabilities chart from Tuesday evening.
Suddenly Hillary must have started feeling like this.
Others might describe what was happening more like this.
Perhaps Hillary was suddenly concerned about something like this.
That simple line graph showed a "bottom line." What was behind it was something extraordinary something like this showing counties carried by Clinton (in blue) and Trump (in red).
But be careful in interpreting aa map like this. Looking at areas doesn't really say much about population about voters. So the blue areas on the major cities weigh in the election much more heavily than much of the red area in what the coasties refer to as "flyover country." It looks like a very clear city vs. country division. And in most areas, urban and rural, the preferred candidate won by a large margin.
But regardless of the interpretation, when enough voters shift in enough states, the result can be some unexpected breaking news. What so much of the country had hoped for, but never thought could occur, had come to pass.
Shock. Consternation. Horror. The Hillary partisans in the blue cities had never believed this could happen and reacted badly when it did. They protested, they rioted, they demanded the overthrow of the Constitution and the destruction of the Electoral College. All to prevent Donald Trump from taking office.
Or perhaps it was not quite that simple. Many of the protesters were ordinary Hillary partisans, but many of the violent protesters were being paid for their labors. This produced one of the first of the side effects of this election and brings us full circle, back to the beginning of this post.
Now the election is over and we're done with all those political comercials filling all the radio and television broadcast time. And now we will see over the coming weeks the unfolding of a new era. We'll just have to see how different it is from the old one.
Hillary and the Law
There are a lot of discrepancies and double standards evident in the way the cases against Hillary Clinton have been handled. Here's one that's particularly galling.
General Petraeus was cashiered and convicted for what is by comparison a very minor offense. And yet Hillary is being handled with "kid gloves" and not charged despite her major violations.
Here's another case, limited to just classified e-mails.
Brezler could find no secure way to get the information he'd found to his old unit in time to save their lives, and so used a "field expedient" to do so. For his trouble, he was forced out of the Marine Corps under threat of Court Martial. But Hillary gets a pass for much, much larger violations committed just for her convenience.
And it's not just classified materials, and it's not just now. Others have gone to prison for mishandling a single FBI file, but Hillary got a pass for mishandling hundreds. (Remember TravelGate? And the other Clinton scandals in those years? Remember that the non-sexual ones usually involved Hillary?)
Back to current events: It's now been verified in last Friday's FBI document dump that Hillary along with her aides lied to the FBI. Others go to prison for that, but not Hillary.
It all adds up to one thing: Hillary believes laws are for the poor the "little people" to obey. And she is not one of them. And based on what has not happened to her (indictment, arrest, conviction, imprisonment), it's looking like she may be right.
Another way to state that is that Hillary believes she is above the law she doesn't have to follow laws like a normal citizen.
I guess Hillary is royalty. At least in her own mind.
Actually, she's more like a high level crime boss. A big enough crime boss to strike fear even into the heart of the head of the FBI.
Now this crime boss wants to be President of the United States. And she just might make it.
Be afraid, America. Be very afraid.
Four Simple Questions
Here are 4 Simple questions from a reputable attorney..... this should really get your "gray matter" to churning, even if you are an Obama fan.
For all you "anti-Fox News" folks, none of this information came from Fox. All of it can be verified from legitimate sources (Wikipedia, the Kapiolani hospital website itself, and a good history book, as noted herein). It is very easy for someone to check out.
4 Simple Questions.......
What I'd like to know is whether there are any logical, legitimate answers to these questions.
1. Back in 1961 people of color were called 'Negroes'. So how can the Obama 'birth certificate' state he is "African-American" when the term wasn't even used at that time? [And why do these folks pretend the only "people of color" are blacks? It ain't so!]
2. The birth certificate that the White House released lists Obama's birth as August 4, 1961 and Lists Barack Hussein Obama as his father. No big deal, Right? At the time of Obama's birth, it also shows that his father is aged 25 years old, and that Obama's father was born in "Kenya, East Africa".
This wouldn't seem like anything of concern, except the fact that Kenya did not even exist until 1963, two whole years after Obama's birth, and 27 years after his father's birth. How could Obama's father have been born in a country that did not yet exist?
Up and until Kenya was formed in 1963, it was known as the "British East Africa Protectorate". (check it out here)
3. On the Birth Certificate released by the White House, the listed place of birth is "Kapi'olani Maternity & Gynecological Hospital".
This cannot be, because the hospital(s) in question in 1961 were called "KauiKeolani Children's Hospital" and "Kapi'olani Maternity Home", respectively. The name did not change to Kapi'olani Maternity & Gynecological Hospital until 1978, when these two hospitals merged. How can this particular name of the hospital be on a birth certificate dated 1961 if this name had not yet been applied to it until 1978?
Why hasn't this been discussed in the major media?
4. Perhaps a clue comes from Obama's book on his father. He states how proud he is of his father fighting in WW II. I'm not a math genius, so I may need some help from you. Barack Obama's "birth certificate" says his father was 25 years old in 1961 when Obama was born. That should have put his father's date of birth approximately 1936 - if my math holds (Honest! I did that without a calculator!) Now we need a non-revised history book-one that hasn't been altered to satisfy the author's goals-to verify that WW II was basically between 1939 and 1945. Just how many 3 year olds fight in Wars? Even in the latest stages of WW II his father wouldn't have been more than 9 years old. Does that mean that Mr. Obama is a liar, or simply chooses to alter the facts to satisfy his imagination or political purposes?
Very truly yours,
RICHARD R. SILVERLIEB
Attorney at Law
354 Eisenhower Parkway
Livingston, NJ 07039
Another Bataan Survivor Has Died
New Mexico honors its Bataan survivors. It always has, ever since they were rescued at the end of World War II. Here is the latest example, a story printed in the Albuquerque Journal today (Friday, August 26).
Bataan Death March survivor dies in Oregon
By Charles D. Brunt / Journal Staff Writer
Thursday, August 25th, 2016 at 11:44pm
ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. — Dwight Raymond Cable, a Bataan Death March survivor who joined the New Mexico National Guard’s 200th Coast Artillery Regiment while stationed here as a research scientist with the Soil Conservation Service in April 1941, died in his sleep Aug. 12 in Eugene, Ore., his nephew, Gary Cable of Peralta, said Wednesday. Dwight Cable was 99.
The Chicago native grew up in Tucson and attended the University of Arizona before graduating from the University of Idaho and going to work for the Soil Conservation Service, now known as the federal Natural Resources Conservation Service. Eight months before Japan’s sneak attack on Pearl Harbor, which triggered America’s direct involvement in World War II, Cable joined the New Mexico National Guard and soon shipped out to the Philippines.
In April 1942, Japanese captors marched about 78,000 prisoners of war – 12,000 Americans and 66,000 Filipinos – for six days on the Bataan Peninsula on the Philippine island of Luzon to a prisoner-of-war camp known as Camp O’Donnell. Many were denied food, water or medical care, and some were stabbed or bayoneted along the 65-mile route.
|Dwight Raymond Cable, who was in New Mexico National Guard’s 200th Coast Artillery Regiment, is shown in 2002. He died Aug. 12. (Courtesy of Gary Cable)||Dwight Raymond Cable, a sergeant during World War II, is shown in 1941 shortly after joining the Army. Cable died Aug. 12 in Eugene, Ore., at age 99. (Courtesy of Gary Cable)|
Among the American defenders of Bataan were Cable and some 1,800 soldiers from New Mexico, many with the 200th and 515th Coast Artillery Regiments. About half of them did not survive the war.
Cable, who was a company clerk with C Battery of the 515th Coast Artillery Regiment when captured, was sent on a “hell ship” to a POW prison camp near Shinjuku, Japan, where more than 2,300 other American POWs were held. His capture was first reported to the International Committee of the Red Cross on May 7, 1942, and the last report was made on Oct. 15, 1945. Based on those reports, he was imprisoned for at least 3½ years before being liberated by U.S. forces.
Gary Cable said his uncle’s only comment on his POW experience was: “You had to keep your sense of humor. Those that didn’t, didn’t make it.”
“What I remember most about Dwight was his dry sense of humor,” Gary Cable said. “He was once hiking with my parents in the mountains near Ouray, Colo. My mother was interested in learning about the plants they saw, and asked Dwight to identify them for her – including by scientific name. It took her a while to realize he was giving her the same scientific name for every plant she pointed to.”
Dwight Cable’s younger brother, Lowell Dean Cable, went into Normandy via Omaha Beach on the day after D-Day. His older brother, Donovan Chambers Cable, tried to join the military as well but was medically disqualified from contributing to the war effort.
After the war, Cable went back to work for the Soil Conservation Service and later for the U.S. Forest Service. He wrote more than 100 peer-reviewed research papers and articles on native desert grasses and other plants. He was an avid hiker, outdoorsman and nature photographer.
Even after he retired and moved to Eugene, Ore., his family sent him a “care package” every year for his birthday, filled with items like biscochitos and a bag of red chile pods.
A memorial service will be held in Eugene on Dec. 16, which would have been Cable’s 100th birthday, his nephew said.
With Cable’s passing, only 13 former members of the New Mexico National Guard’s 200th and 515th Coast Artillery Regiments who survived the Bataan Death March are still living, according to the Bataan-Corregidor Memorial Foundation of New Mexico. Seven of them reside in New Mexico.
Don't Widen the Plate!
A story I have read before, but this time my head went to politics, with this story Washington's plate has been widened until hitters have no place to run.
Don’t Widen The Plate!
Read the rest here.
In Nashville, Tennessee, during the first week of January, 1996, more than 4,000 baseball coaches descended upon the Opryland Hotel for the 52nd annual ABCA convention.
While I waited in line to register with the hotel staff, I heard other more veteran coaches rumbling about the lineup of speakers scheduled to present during the weekend. One name, in particular, kept resurfacing, always with the same sentiment — “John Scolinos is here? Oh man, worth every penny of my airfare.
Who, is John Scolinos, I wondered. No matter, I was just happy to be there.
In 1996, Coach Scolinos was 78 years old and five years retired from a college coaching career that began in 1948. He shuffled to the stage to an impressive standing ovation, wearing dark polyester pants, a light blue shirt, and a string around his neck from which home plate hung — a full-sized, stark-white home plate.
Seriously, I wondered, who in the world is this guy?
After speaking for twenty five minutes, not once mentioning the prop hanging around his neck, Coach Scolinos appeared to notice the snickering among some of the coaches. Even those who knew Coach Scolinos had to wonder exactly where he was going with this, or if he had simply forgotten about home plate since he’d gotten on stage. Then, finally . . .
What Is An Infidel?
I've seen this before, so its "last month" does not refer to June 2016. Still, the article below is accurate and appropriate.
I believe the first two paragraphs, and the last two, are introductory. I believe the remaining ones were written by Rick Mathes. I have marked them that way below.
The author, Rick Mathes, is a well-known leader in prison ministry. The man who walks with God always gets to his destination. If you have a pulse, you have a purpose.
This (among other things) makes clear that Islam's biggest lie is that Islam is a "Religion of Peace".
The Muslim religion is the fastest growing religion per capita in the United States, especially in the minority races.
Last month I attended my annual training session that's required for maintaining my state prison security clearance. During the training session there was a presentation by three speakers representing the Roman Catholic, Protestant and Muslim faiths, who each explained their beliefs.
In twenty years there will be enough Muslim voters in the US. to elect the President.
I was particularly interested in what the Islamic Imam had to say. The Muslim gave a great presentation of the basics of Islam, complete with a video.
After the presentations, time was provided for questions and answers. When it was my turn, I directed my question to the Muslim and asked:
"Please, correct me if I'm wrong, but I understand that most Imams and clerics of Islam have declared a holy jihad [Holy war] against the infidels of the world, and that by killing an infidel, which is a command to all Muslims, they are assured of a place in heaven. If that's the case, can you give me the definition of an infidel?"
There was no disagreement with my statements and, without hesitation, he replied, "Nonbelievers."
I responded, "So, let me make sure I have this straight. All followers of Allah have been commanded to kill everyone who is not your faith so they can have a place in heaven. Is that correct?"
The expression on his face changed from one of authority and command to that of a little boy who had just been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.
He sheepishly replied, "Yes."
I then stated, "Well, sir, I have a real problem trying to imagine The Christian Pope commanding all Catholics to kill those of your faith or Dr. Stanley ordering all Protestants to do the same in order to guarantee them a place in heaven!"
The Muslim was speechless.
I continued, "I also have a problem with being your friend when you and your brother clerics are telling your followers to kill me!
Let me ask you a question:
Would you rather have your Allah, who tells you to kill me in order for you to go to heaven, or my Jesus who tells me to love you because I am going to heaven and He wants you to be there with me?"
You could've heard a pin drop.
Needless to say, the organizers and/or promoters of the "Diversification" training seminar were not happy with my way of dealing with the Islamic Imam, and exposing the truth in public about the Muslims' beliefs.
I think everyone should be required to read this, but with the ACLU, there is no way this will be widely publicized, unless each of us sends it on! This is your chance to make a difference.
Category: Religion (Islam)